Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Are you a Good Listener?

Has there ever been a time you were talking with someone and they get this vacant stare and you know they're not listening?  How about speaking with someone and they talk over you or change the subject in the middle of the conversation. Maybe your talking about something that means a lot to you but the person your speaking with doesn't seem to be interested or they have something more important to say.

I can relate to both.
I've been in both of those situations. 

 Since I'm wanting better and more meaningful relationships in my life, one thing I've been thinking about lately is my listening skills. I've always believed I was a good listener but since I've been paying more attention to this skill I've realized...I'm not so good at it.    

Here's a few things I'll be putting into practice so I can become a better listener which will also make better relationships.
1)Stop talking. I need to stop talking. I need to shut the trap and listen. This will be a challenge for me as I always have something to say or to add to the conversation. Always. I think if I take the time to really listen to what's being said instead of  blabbering away, the person I'm in the conversation with will know what they have to say is important, instead of feeling they're competing with what I have to say. I shall bite thy tongue.

2) Just listen for the sake of listening. I want to really listen to what someone has to say instead of trying to add to the conversation. Just 'sit on my hands' so to speak and focus on what's being said. I want the person I'm conversing with to know I care about what they're saying more than what I can add to the conversation.

3) Repeat what I've heard. Say back what I've heard them say. It always feels good to know that you're being heard. I know I feel valued, cared about, significant and just plain worthy. I know sometimes when I don't feel heard, I  feel what I have to say has no value and is worth nothing. I want people to feel what they have to say is of great value and they're of great worth.

How about you? Do you feel you're a good listener? What things do you do in a conversation to make you a good listener?  Do you have areas you need to work on when it comes to listening? What are they? 

Here's to becoming a good listener!


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