Monday, June 24, 2013

Everything is alright..

This time of year we have some pretty spectacular sunsets. I feel pretty fortunate to have this setting from my bedroom window. 
This time of night and this type of  view always gives me a feeling of contentment.
 That everything is alright. 
Most of the time, I don't feel things are all right. So I love these moments where I get caught up in the beauty of something so much bigger than me.
I want these moments to last for ever but I know that life just isn't that way. 
Sometimes life gets really hard. 
For me, it's not really the battle without, it's the battle within. 
Those creepy feelings of not being good enough...not being enough.
Nothing is ever enough.
Today, though, I thought I would sink into thoughts of contentment. 
Contentment is to be satisfied.
To desire no more than what I already have. 
See, I have tremendous anxiety issues. I worry constantly. I think it's a soothing mechanism I use so if the outcome is not what I'm expecting...I'm ready. I've already thought through and lived  in my mind the worse case scenario so if it happens (and really, it never does) I'm READY! I think it's the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over with the same result.
Worry is a choice. An insane one for me.

But, today... I choose to be content.
Today... I tell myself ....everything is alright.
Today, I'm going to choose to be content in the situations in my life. 
At the end of the day, everything always turns out alright.
I'm just focusing on today.
Keep my mind in the moment and try not to out think it.
Content with the moment.

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