Fall is here...

Summer has wound down here in the Northwest and the air is getting crisp and cool. The leaves are turning the most brilliant shades of reds, yellows and oranges and every year I think THIS is the year it's been the most beautiful. Hubs says, "Isn't that what you said last year?" "Ohhhh..maybe..but THIS year? This is IT!."

 We had the most glorious summer this year. It lasted long and it was sunny pretty much most of the summer. I remember one summer it was cold and wet nearly the whole time. It's imprinted in my mind so any summer that's not like that one is a good one. But this year? "It was IT!"

The colors out and about are stunning. Fall is my most favorite time of year.

I wish the sun was out here but this is one of the most beautiful roads. When the sun shines it looks as if these trees are on fire.

 We have a beautiful view from our home and at this time of year the sun is setting right behind the mountains and make for the most outstanding sunsets. I marvel at the fact that no sunset has been the same since the beginning of time. Makes me think of my love for God and the everyday miracles He puts around me.  No matter how my day has been, I can always look to Him to finish it with beauty, wonder and awe.

What little miracles has God been putting around you?

Hot Fudge Spoon Cake Crock-pot Style

My little family and I like to go out to eat occasionally (yeah..more than that) and Applebee's  is one of our haunts. For dessert we like to get their triple chocolate meltdown , which is so. good. It's one of our favorite "going out" desserts as it has this melty chocolate saucey stuff  that comes pouring out of the center that each of us try and scoop up before the other. (We share one) It's a molten lava cake and I've never been able to recreate it, at least not as good as the triple chocolate meltdown. It's always too dry or the middle cooks and no yummy goo comes spilling out. No fun at all!

I wanted to make a special dessert for my son's first day in junior high and I found this crock-pot recipe that looked a lot like a triple chocolate meltdown and I thought I would give it a shot. I wasn't disappointed and will be making this again. Sooon!  You need about two hours and a crock-pot. You can probably find most if not all of the ingredients in your pantry. I think it compares to the triple chocolate meltdown eye to eye. Cheaper too.  This is so scrumptiously good that trying not to eat the whole thing was a challenge.

Hot Fudge Crock-pot Spoon Cake
 (you need two medium bowls)
1 cup flour
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1/4 cup  plus 3 Tablespoons baking cocoa
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup fat free half and half
2 Tablespoons butter melted
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 3/4 cup hot water
1/2 cup chocolate chips

In one of the bowls mix the flour, 1 cup brown sugar, the 1/4 cup baking cocoa, baking powder and salt.
Add the half and half , butter and vanilla. Mix really well. Fold in the chocolate chips. Spray your crock pot with non-stick spray and spread the batter on the bottom. In the other bowl mix 3 Tablespoons of the cocoa and the 1/2 cup of brown sugar and sprinkle it on top. Add the 1 3/4 cup hot water to the top but don't mix it in.
Cover and cook on high for about two hours or until the top inch or so of the cake is cooked.

  (adapted from Gooseberry Patch, Our Best Desserts, Hot Fudge Spoon Cake-Sara Plott)

 There's no eggs in this so no worries making sure it's cooked all the way through. So licking the bowl is over the top encouraged!
I let it sit for about 20 min or so before scooping it out so it would set up a bit. Oh.. and vanilla ice cream tops it beautifully!
This will be a common dessert in our house now and I'll save some bucks making it at home instead of going out. This tastes way better anyway.

  

Blueberry Scones

I'm always on the hunt for a great scone recipe. I loooooove scones especially when they're loaded with big plump blueberries. Oh man...it makes me drool thinking about that perfect blueberry scone. I want them more on the dense and sweeter side and loaded with buuuuuttter.( Yeah, my arteries and waste line don't love them so much.) Scones tend to be one of my go-to comfort foods and when I'm a bit down, I like to make them. The smell of the warm buttery sconey goodness and then a bite of the crunchy outside and soft inside makes me feel like I'm wrapped in a warm homey hug.

I'm always trying new scone recipes looking for juuuuust the right one. I actually found one that was sooo good! Just like Starbucks, which I love, but I lost it somewhere. I KNOW! You would think, since I love them so much, and find the holy grail of sconey goodness, I would keep that recipe by my side at all times. Welll that would be waaaay out of character for me so...*shoulder shrug* I'm on the hunt again. I'm hoping I run across it.. If anyone has a really good recipe, let me know. I found this recipe at the Food Network site. I changed a few things...more butter, less salt, buttermilk instead of cream and blueberries.

Anyhoo, the boys went to Wild Waves today for a last summer "Hurrah!" and I have a Saturday to myself. I injured my knee somehow and to make good use of my time, I thought I'd make scones. I also thought I would have two or five before the guys got home.

Blueberry Scones

2 cups flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup sugar
5 Tablespoons butter
2 Tablespoons shortening
3/4 cups buttermilk
1 egg
1 cup frozen blueberries

Heat the oven to 375 degrees.
Mix the dry ingredients in a large bowl. Cut in ( or use a food processor ) the shortening and butter. After combining the egg and buttermilk, gentle fold into the dry ingredients. Then gently fold in the blueberries. Use your hands, it works better and you keep your blueberries intact. Your dough will be a little wet, but that's OK. On a floured surface, gently place the dough and use a bit of flour to form a circle about an inch high in the middle. Cut this with a butter knife to divide into 6 equal scones.
Place the individual scones on a baking sheet and bake for 18-23 min or until golden brown on top.

(adapted from Alton Brown's Scone Recipe) 


These were good, but not the best I've had but I'm kinda picky. They were more on the cake side and a little too salty and not enough sweet for me. Don't get me wrong! They were good but I probably won't make them again.

Still on the hunt!

Finally, some rain.

Rain has finally come. I don't think we've had a good rain in a couple months, which is unusual for Western Washington. We nearly broke a record last month for the most consecutive days without rain. I think we were short 2 days, or something like that. As much as I complain in the winter and spring months about all the rain and no sunshine we get around here, I was jumping up and down when I heard the rain coming down and down and down last night. Sigh...so nice. Clean air. Watered plants. Sooo many of the pines on the hill behind our house are dying from lack of water.
My garden did wonderfully despite the rain. I watered faithfully and was rewarded with beautiful blooms throughout the summer, without the rain coming to destroy them. Until last night. I'm OK with it though. I was missing the rain.
I made sure to get several pictures to share before the rain came. I love to garden and I love flowers. There's something so spiritually fulfilling, digging in the dirt and the rich smell of good soil. The hard work pays off with beautiful blooms.

 My yard just exploded with beautiful flowers this year. We've lived here for about 8 years and the soil was just awful when we moved in, so I've been amending it every year at planting time. It's still not the greatest as we have horrible drainage issues but it's finally maturing and getting the look I wanted. I went through many many plants to find the right one that would work best for the conditions of our backyard.

 I have lots of hummingbird and butterfly attractors.

 

This rose above I brought with me when we moved to our new house. It was my favorite and I wasn't going to leave it. I love this little guy. 

 This rose I purchased for 5 bucks. It had no tag and was a scraggly little thing sitting all by it's little self.  Since I have a thing for outcasts, I grabbed it and it's one of my most favorite roses I've ever had. I still have no idea what it is but it smells and looks beautiful.

Never underestimate and outcast.

I love to collect plants that attract hummingbirds and butterflies. My little garden has been visited by many of these little lovelies this year. I can hear the hummingbirds in my trees making their little noises every morning and evening. They're very territorial, I hear.

I was a little worried about my hydrangeas this year. I'm finally getting some blooms on one. These are one of my most favorite flowers as well.

I hope you enjoyed taking a glimpse of my pretties. 

Birthday's and Baking Soda go together like..

 They don't.  This little ditty is about my hubstons birthday yesterday ( he was 53!)  and baking soda. How do those two come into play? Reeeeeead on. 

Yesterday, I could have joined the cast of the worst cooks in America.

  I can bake, like "baked" goods and stuff, but NEVER can I EVER cook, bake, boil, roast-whatever- chicken to save my life. Can't do it. It usually turns out a rubbery, dry something that resembles what used to be a chicken - or - it's still squawking and for some reason I keep trying, and I still can't. get. it. right. So, why cook chicken ever? I don't.  BUT, yesterday was my hubstons birthday and every time in the last 15 years when I ask him what he wants for dinner he tells me..."Chicken cordon blue".  (Now it's kindof a running joke around here.)  I've tried making it for him early in our marriage and -yeeeah- didn't work.  I figured since I've got a little experience under my belt cooking these last 15 years, I'm a gonna give it another shot and surprise my guy. I just completely tossed out the window that chicken and I don't get along. Yesterday, we were going to become friends and I was going to get this right.

I started with this recipe Chicken Cordon Blue. It seemed really easy and something I could do. I mean, I'll just follow the recipe to the letter. How could it go wrong?
I pounded out my chicken.

I put the ham and cheese in the middle and rolled those puppies up...

I forgot to get a picture of them rolled. Silly me. 

I rolled them in the flour and paprika (made a huge mess) and put them in the pan with the butter and wine. It smelled wonderful! and I was so excited it was all coming together and looked like it would work. 

After I let it cook for about 25 min or so...(the recipe said 30, but I knew I would turn them into little chicken hockey pucks if I went that long so 25 min was long enough for me. Yeah--later to realize, too long. There will be NO Salmonella around here, no sir. ) I put them on a plate and went to my soon to be sauce. It's smelled so mouthwatering I was starting to drool a bit. I was pretty proud of myself at this moment but we all know what happens with pride and all. Yup. a big ol fall. 

I had mixed up my "cornstarch" and cream and had slowly poured it into my sauce, that smelled heavenly with all those brown bits and butter and wine. Then I say to myself...."hmmm that's funny... Why is it foaming? I've never seen that before, maybe it's the "cornstarch" and cream mixed with the wine." I just kept stirring and stirring and stirring and it never thickened. I was wonder what the heck I did when suddenly my mind got a picture of the box I had the "cornstarch" in and I thought, feeling much defeated, I think I put in baking soda. I opened the cupboard and grabbed the box and sure enough. Baking Soda. The two boxes look very similar. "CRAP!" I yelled quite loudly. My husband says, "uh oh". I tasted my beautiful wine/brown bits and butter with the baking soda and cream and thought " Neat. The ocean just met my beautiful sauce." It was so salty it couldn't be saved. I had to dump it and be reeeeeal mad. Stupid chicken. I thought "well, I'll just start over!" I dumped some wine and butter in the pan, let it boil, threw some cornstarch and cream in there and sigh. It clumped and separated. I have NO idea what happened and  I gave up and tossed that too. 

No sauce. And!!! it was dry. But my hubston ate it and proudly said "Yum" enough times to make me feel like he didn't hate it as much as his chewing was giving away.  Oh! and the salad dressing on the greens right there? I got that at How Sweet it Is. It's  Parmesan Greek Yogurt Caesar dressing and it's sooooooo good. Her blog is the bomb too.  Am I too old to say that? Anyhoo......She'll make you laugh right out loud and want to lick the PC her pictures are so good. Unlike my food pictures, but hey, we all start somewhere eh?

We finished off the dinner with this little number and me telling myself "Never ever ever" are chicken and I getting back together. Ever. 

Courtesy of Costco. Yum. 

Sandwich Generation

 I was talking with a friend some months ago about my struggles with caring for elderly parents and raising a young son. She said  it's called the Sandwich Generation. Your "sandwiched" between taking care of both. 

 My feeling "sandwiched" started a little over three years ago when I got a call from my Dad and he told me he had cancer. I was shocked and scared.. I never thought that would  be something I would hear from anyone in my family.  You think it happens to everyone else until it happens to your family and it was a shock. My Dad had an aggressive form of bladder cancer-stage 4.   I stuck by my Dads side the whole time, through all his surgery's and chemo. Getting him to all his appointments and staying at the hospital during his surgery's. He stayed at my home after one of his surgery's so I could drain his catheter to make sure he was draining enough fluid. Yeah, never thought I would do that.

My son was going on 10.

During this time my Mom started to lose her memory. She was repeating herself all the time and she refused to help with my Dad. I knew something was wrong but my brother and sisters believed she was fine.  I was with her and talked to her all the time so I knew something wasn't right. 

Almost exactly one year from my Dads diagnosis, my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. During her visits to the Dr and surgeon, my Mom wouldn't allow my Dad in most of the appointments.  My Moms treatment was a partial mastectomy but she never followed through with more treatment. Who knows if she still has cancer but my Mom is really prideful and just didn't want to deal with it. I was able to be with her during all this and was there when the doctor told her about her losing her memory. She didn't believe him and it was heartbreaking.  This was probably one of the darkest times of my adult life.

 My son was just turning 11. I was trying to hold it together and be a good mom to my son. It was a really hard time.

Over the next year or so my Moms memory got worse. Until just last year she had been driving but Mom was following my Dad home in her car from a motorcycle shop and took  a wrong turn. This was at 11 am.  We didn't find her until 7:30 pm when a man from a bar by Mt Rainer called to say she was there. She was several hours drive away from her home.  The deputy with her said if she hadn't stopped at that bar she would have gone into the National forest and they don't patrol there but every few days. This was the last stop. She had been driving 8 hours trying to find her way home and never stopped for help. She blames the lack of good signs and I couldn't understand when she passed Seattle and then Tacoma, and didn't stop. She felt she could find her way home. I felt she was in a ditch somewhere. Yet when she talks about that day all she says is she wished she had a camera because Rainer was soooooo beautiful! Oy vey.

Present day, my Dad is still cancer free but my Mom's dementia is a lot worse and I have no idea if her cancer has spread.  My Dad is doing the best he can but he's still in a bit (a lot) of denial. He still believes she can do a lot more than she really can. He wants to believe she's OK. We all want to believe Mom is OK.

Dementia is a nasty beast. Sometimes it's hard to figure out. My Mom will remember dates and things and you think she's fine but then she'll do something that your like...Oh wow.  It's really hard  to communicate with someone who's dementia is progressing. You have to have a lot of patience and don't argue. If she believes something happened, it's OK to let her believe it. It's better than the confusion and anger it causes. At first, she would  remember things wrong. She would get a bit confused and remember an event happening in the wrong order or not remember conversations and  get very argumentative. Now, she remembers things that never happened. Or she tells me things she's been doing when she actually hasn't done that in a long time. I used to think she was telling me these things so I wouldn't worry. Now I know she actually believes she was doing it based off of a memory long ago. It feels to her as if she just did it. Dementia is horrible!   My heart breaks to see my Mom like this but she still believes she has no memory problems. She also believes she can drive and gets upset when someone tells her (me) she can't.

Through this I'm trying to be the best Mom I can be. I try to compartmentalize it so the stress of it doesn't interfere with the care of my son.  My son just turned 13 and he's a pretty great kid.

Are any of you going through this? Are you part of the "Sandwich Generation"? Do you have elderly parents that you want to honor and help them like they helped you? Are they healthy?  Do you have young children as well?  How do you find balance and not let the guilt monster rip your heart out?

Time for My Ten Things I've Learned this Week.

I've completely forgot about my ten things I've learned this week. I blame it on my short attention span. But, here we are!
                                                               
  1) Trying to "find my voice" when writing is hard. Learning to write like I talk is taking time. I admire writers.
 It's a skill and a talent I don't have yet. I hope too. Do I think I'll become some great writer? Not even for moment and that's not my desire, but I do enjoy it.  I find there's a certain amount of deep honesty you find with yourself when you write. You can't NOT be honest. I think writing comes from such a deep place that you come face to face with yourself and sometimes that's scary. That's probably why I have a thousand journals I've started and stopped. Writing honestly can hurt sometimes because you can't run from yourself. Writing honestly goes deep. Sometimes deeper than I was wanting. Writing makes you face it. At least, that's what I'm finding in my experience. I'm discovering myself.  I find myself becoming more concrete. Does that make sense?

  2) I have issues with zucchini. I keep buying it and have plans for it,  put it in the crisper and forget it's there. They rot and I buy more. I don't get it. I have them sitting on my island in the kitchen now. I WILL make something with them. Zucchini bread is good. Does anyone have a good recipe?

  3) Sand can be the devil. Just when you thought you've gotten rid of it. NO. "He's never gone!!

Love this movie!

4) Mosquito's can suck your blood even through your clothes. No one is safe. No one.

5) There are people in this world, as you all well know, that should never own a pet. I've learned that there are a lot of people out there who are more concerned with their own comforts, pets can be work, than doing the right thing. My animal lover heart is broken.

6) School starts on the 3rd of September. My son will be in junior high and a 7th grader. I'm learning that letting go stings a lot more than I thought it would. I can't imagine what it'll be like when he goes to college. UGH!

7)Marriage can be really really really really...really hard. I'm learning that words have a lot of power and can shred someone to pieces. Of course, that's common sense. But, I've also learned that as you get older and the longer your married, the words that come out of your mouth not only hurt your partner but they hurt you as well. Marriage, to me, is melding two lives together and making yourselves one. So when I hurt my husband I'm hurting myself.  I'm learning I need to shut up because my words can be a terrible weapon.

8) I've learned that calling myself a "collector" instead of a "hoarder" feels better.

9) I've learned that the big "muffins" that you get at Costco are just really cake shaped like a muffin. Since it's a "muffin" I don't feel guilty eating it for breakfast.

10) Gardening makes me really happy. It settles my soul. I've learned that I need to do some type of gardening every day to find rest, peace and completeness in my soul.

Cheers!