Monday, April 13, 2015

Trusting God


In the last year, I've been going through some pretty challenging times, as far as my faith and the role God plays in my life. I wonder...a lot... if God even cares or if I'm just a huge whiner and He would rather engage in my life when I'm not such a huge downer. I know He's always there and I know I can talk to Him anytime I want, but I often wonder if He really gives a rip what I think or care about.
Does He care about the little things? I mean, I know in my head that He does but does my heart think so?
I have a lot of anxiety and worry. I worry about so many things and I'm noticing that the worry is starting to take a toll on my body in the form of gritting my teeth at night and my stomach being a source of discomfort, pretty much all the time. I don't sleep well either. Not sleeping stinks.
So. I've started to turn to God. Not just in those.."oh God oh God oh God" moments but deliberately going to Him the minute something worrisome pops into my head. Or I feel my anxiety kicking in.
 But I think...
Can I trust Him to take care of me which includes all the little things I worry about? Can I believe He has my best interest in mind and believe that whatever happens, will be for my good? Can I trust Him that I DID turn off the stove and I won't come home to my house burned down? ( Having my house burn down is such a huge fear of mine) What if it does? Will I be OK? Will God take care of me?  Will my son be OK? Will he be successful and chase after God all his life? What if he decides not to...what then?
So many things.
So many things that wreck my teeth and make my tummy ache.
So many things that keeps me up at night.

Time for a change.
Time to take God at His word and believe what He says--

casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7

29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?[h] And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. 30 But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.
Matthew 10:29-30

These are two verses that always come to my mind when I begin to worry.
I need to know that God is in control. He's got the plan and I just need to trust Him that the God that made the universe, who knows every sparrow that falls and every human beings hair that's  numbered on their heads- that He knows me and has a plan and purpose for my life. Nothing is too small for Him to care about. I have to believe that. I want to believe that. Lord, help my unbelief. 


2 comments:

  1. He's got the plan. I love that. I think I shared that is my favorite bible verse. The two you shared are pretty awesome too. Depression sucks! Wish we could just sweep it out the door. But it likes to stick around. And won't leave us alone. :{

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  2. I'm so excited for nice sunny weather to come. I usually get some relief from the depression of the winter blues. I like the idea of sweeping it out the door!

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