Everything is alright..

This time of year we have some pretty spectacular sunsets. I feel pretty fortunate to have this setting from my bedroom window. 

This time of night and this type of  view always gives me a feeling of contentment.

 That everything is alright. 

Most of the time, I don't feel things are all right. So I love these moments where I get caught up in the beauty of something so much bigger than me.

I want these moments to last for ever but I know that life just isn't that way. 

Sometimes life gets really hard. 

For me, it's not really the battle without, it's the battle within. 

Those creepy feelings of not being good enough...not being enough.

Nothing is ever enough.

Ugh.

Today, though, I thought I would sink into thoughts of contentment. 

Contentment is to be satisfied.

To desire no more than what I already have. 

See, I have tremendous anxiety issues. I worry constantly. I think it's a soothing mechanism I use so if the outcome is not what I'm expecting...I'm ready. I've already thought through and lived  in my mind the worse case scenario so if it happens (and really, it never does) I'm READY! I think it's the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over with the same result.

Worry is a choice. An insane one for me.

But, today... I choose to be content.

Today... I tell myself ....everything is alright.

Today, I'm going to choose to be content in the situations in my life. 

At the end of the day, everything always turns out alright.

I'm just focusing on today.

Keep my mind in the moment and try not to out think it.

Breathe. 

Be.

Satisfied.

Content with the moment.

 

Last day of 6th grade..

My son's last day of the 6th grade was today. I can't believe how fast it goes and I'm so proud of him. Next...Junior High!!! Hooray! my little man!!!

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My Garden

I'm loving my garden this year. Done organically, and after all the hard work, it's paying off. We've lived here about 8 years and when we moved in, I was excited about the size of yard. It's small. In our last home, my yard was too big and a lot of work. I was excited to do something on a smaller scale but, as I soon found out, our yard was a great big drainage ditch for the hill behind and the houses to the left of us which are higher than us. It all came down into our backyard. Neat. After putting in a ton of french drains, amending the soil and finding the right plants for the right spots, I think it's coming along. I lost a lot of plants in the first few years with our drainage issues. Some areas have hard pan like concrete, which is typical Northwest suburb soil, so some areas we had to build up or just leave bare and put a pot. The hill behind will be planted with evergreens here soon.

Still lots to do but my flowers are making me happy. I'll be working on some yard art and bird houses with my son this summer to add a little fun to it.

Northwest Skies

When I was a kid we had a willow tree in the front yard of my childhood home. I would spend a lot of time under this willow in the summer time. I would read and nap or work on little crafty things ...and nap. My cat would usually hang out with me and chase bugs. I loved those days with no worries but what flavor popsicle I wanted or trying to stay awake reading my book. One of my favorite memories sitting under that willow tree was the sky. We were surrounded by pine trees so the contrast of the blue sky and the green of the trees was so beautiful. But the big puffy clouds were my favorite and I would sit for hours and stare at them. I was sitting outside in my own backyard and the look of the sky brought me right back to those peaceful lazy days. Great memories from the beautiful Northwest skies.

Flower Pillow

I went through a phase of fabric flower love. I was making fabric flowers out of anything I could find. I was obsessed. I'm trying to decorate my house and make it more of a home and one of the things I fell in love with on Pinterest was pillows with fabric flowers. I've been going through my stash and made a pillow cover out of fleece (to cover the old, dated one) and made flowers out of the scraps. I think it turned out really pretty. Here it is...

Lots of tutorials to make fabric flowers out there. I really liked using fleece as it gives it a soft look (and I have a TON of it cause when it goes on sale, something in me says, "you must have much"). I also scalloped the edges of the strips to make it look a bit like an hydrangea blossom. The hardest part was trying to arrange the flowers to look well...right. Balance and all. I like it.

Egg OH Paleo!

 

Hello all! Been awhile and thought I would pop in and let you know my going's on. I've been pretty busy and one major change I want to share is that I started eating Paleo. It's a way of eating like our ancestors did before the agricultural age. Cave man eating! Nope, not trying to sell anyone on it but I do want to share how much better I feel.

I've heard a lot of people on the web trying it out and since I was so sick and tired of feeling so poorly, I thought I would give it a shot. It's just 30 days. 30 days to see if I feel any better and if I don't? I'll go back to the donuts... which I love, by the way. But, I felt awful. All. The. Time. I slept terribly. I have reflux so badly that it's very distressing. I had food cravings that I could not get a handle on. I was always fatigued and in a brain fog and my body hurt. I was exercising every day and eating a mostly healthy diet with lots of veggies and fruit, pasta and low fat foods. Very little meat because I don't care for it much. I had also been trying to lose weight but it wasn't happening. AT all. I thought I was doing all the right things and still I felt terrible AND I was gaining weight instead of losing it. So I thought I would give this way of eating a shot.
I am so glad I did. I'm on day 17 of the 30 day elimination part of Paleo where you eliminate all dairy, sugar, legumes(peanut butter, beans etc.), and grain. Alcohol as well. Your diet consists of whole foods of meat, eggs, veggies, fruit, healthy oils and nuts. If anyone is interested in greater detail visit this web site. Whole 9 I found it trolling around the nets and it's most excellent in regards to this way of eating.
I've had a few bouts with the "sugar dragon" where I thought I would break down and cry if I didn't have a donut. Seriously wanting to cry and throw myself down in a huge tantrum, kicking and screaming for a "DONUT!!"... but I pushed though it! That's one thing I'm so proud of myself for. My cravings for carbs would take me down and I have a HUGE sweet tooth. I honestly didn't think I would be able to conquer that...but I have.

Now to the way I feel. After 17 days of having no dairy, sugar, grains, or legumes...I feel really, really good. Physically and mentally. I'm actually kinda stunned as I'm not one to believe in all the hype about stuff like this as I'm a pretty big skeptic in most things and I don't follow fads and or the latest diet craze. But as of two nights ago I've been sleeping soundly through the night. Big for me! That's one of the things they say will happen. Better sleep. I've found a good balance of fat/protein that I'm able to eat three times a day and I don't get hungry in between. So the cravings are pretty much gone. But I know that that the cravings I have now are just old habits and not related to food. I've really had to work on the emotional stuff. I've always been an emotional eater and breaking that cycle has been hard but I finally feel free of my dependance on food to numb. I will say that I've been a bundle of anxiety the last week or so stopping my bad habits but I'm doin it! My reflux has improved tremendously and I'm hoping over the next few months it'll be gone. I have more energy and my body doesn't hurt!! And! Bonus!!! My clothes are getting loose on me. Halaluyur!!!

Anyhoo, of I go to go get some things done. Have a great day!!